Public Speaking Tips - How to Feel and Be More Confident About Yourself When Speaking in Public

As the Master of Ceremonies calls out your name,you slowly walk up to the stage amidst the applause of your audience to shake his hands.

And as you are walking up, you try very hard to keep the smile on your face while hiding your anxiousness.
Glancing back, you saw that in the eyes of the audience that they are full of anticipation, eager to hear what you have to share with them. Now, butterflies start to form in your stomach. You can feel the cold sweat trickling down your forehead and doubts begin to occupy your mind...

"What if I forget the important points of my speech? What will the audience think of me? Will they laugh at me if I say something wrong? What should I do if they laugh at me?"
After taking the last few painful steps, you finally manage to reach the emcee and shake his hands. Now the applause eventually died down and you are now on the stage... ALONE!!
As a speaker on stage, you are like a warrior fighting a battle with no allies around you. You're there alone... and you've no one to fall back to if anything goes wrong.

You know you can't afford to be anxious. After all, you've religiously followed the 4 steps to overcoming your fears of public speaking and you know you'll be able to impress your audience with your speech - if you manage to deliver it properly and thoroughly, as what you've practiced weeks ago!
My friend, getting anxious and having butterflies in your stomach before your public speaking engagement is common. In fact, no matter how great a speaker is, he or she is bound to feel anxious and nervous. Even so, that doesn't mean you have to show and tell everyone that you're anxious.

After all, you won't get a single sympathy by letting people know that you are nervous so why bother? Those accomplished speakers know how to camouflage their nervousness. Come and put up a great smile and forget about the stage fright.

Below are 2 great ways I personally used (and coach my students to use) to overcome their fears of public speaking...

Overcome Fears of Public Speaking Tip #1: Self-Visualisation
You probably have heard of the acronym of F.E.A.R, Felse Evidence Appearing Real.
Since you can't force yourself to stop imagining things, then why not use your imagination to your public speaking advantage by thinking of something positive?
Before your public speaking engagement, create a mental image of yourself giving the talk and getting a positive response from your audience. Imagine you're relax and confidence on the stage and your audience are listening attentively at what you've to share with them.

And as you conclude your speech, the audience are bewildered and give you a standing ovation.
Play this image over and over again in your mind. Now, how do you feel now? Do you feel as fearful as you were before?
This form of creative self-visualisation is also used by athletes who visualise themselves winning.

Overcome Fears of Public Speaking Tip #2: Move Around
Most public speaking coaches often advise their students to stand in one position when giving their talk and not move around. They believe that by standing in one position, they are less likely to display their anxiousness and nervousness to the audience.

You know what? I think otherwise!
Go ahead and walk around the stage! Don't just stand in one position.

Walk up and down, move from left to the right... Move in any directions you want. By moving around, it will better help you dissipate the nervous energy as compared to standing in one position fidgeting.

Overcoming your fear of public speaking can be hard and seems impossible at the start, however, with the help from a professional public speaking coach, the journey can be easier and smoother than what you believe it to be.

With 20 over years of public speaking coach, regardless if you want to improve your coaching skills as a trainer, to learn some powerful tips and tricks to writing impactful and engaging speeches or become a more crowd engaging Master of Ceremonies, Ernest Chen can help you to achieve that!
For more information about his Singapore public speaking courses, visit his website at http://www.EarnestlySpeaking.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ernest_Chen

Becoming a Confident Manager - 5 Tips to Help You Become More Confident in Any Situation

How confident are you as a manager?
What situations make you feel a little unsure, uncomfortable or less confident about how to handle?
For the new manager, being thrust into suddenly having responsibility for achieving through others can feel daunting, intimidating or overwhelming. (Particularly when some of those "others" may be people you used to work alongside).

Even for the manager who has been managing for years, with the ever-changing market place, new technologies and a more diverse range of ages and cultures in your workplace, there are likely to be many situations which leave you feeling a little nervous or unsure.

Way back in my career as a teacher, I remember standing nervously in front of 30 expectant, intelligent, articulate individuals, all waiting to see how well I would perform, how successfully I could engage them, and how much of a "pushover" I was going to be!
Did it make my knees knock a little? You bet!
Later, as I took my first tentative steps towards mentoring, coaching and managing others in industry, I would feel those same feelings: nervousness; worried about my ability to manage what could be some quite tricky situations; concern about how others might perceive me and just a little vulnerable - did I know enough to do this job well?
Where do managers feel a lack of confidence?
There are three key areas which many managers report are the most tricky for them. What are they?
1. Managing others who have higher qualifications than you or who are qualified in a different discipline.

2. Influencing peers or external stakeholders where you have no direct authority, but good working relationships with these people are fundamental to good performance.

3. Managing upwards. Whew is this a biggie! In many of the workshops I run, when I ask people to think of who they most want to be more effective at managing, a staggering proportion of those attending include their immediate line manager or higher in their top 3.

Each of these situations requires both consummate communication skills and a high degree of self-confidence.

So, what does a manager need to do to increase their confidence in these, or any other, "tricky" situations?
5 keys to building your self-confidence as a manager:
1. Do what you believe to be right - even if others mock or criticise you for it. From the moment you take on any management role, others are looking at you to see what kind of a manager you are going to be. Just as those children were "sussing me out" in the classroom all those years ago, your staff are doing the same with you. How you behave sets the scene for everything else.

This is about two things really: a) Getting absolutely clear about what's really important to you, in terms of what needs to be accomplished, and what attitudes and behaviours you expect. Think of it as creating your own vision of "how we do things around here".

b) When it comes to core values about how people work together you never compromise. In all else, you are open to suggestion and influence. In recent studies, outstanding managers, with the highest performing, most committed teams, all had crystal clear ideas about the kind of culture they wanted to create, and what was important to them - and they communicated this to everyone they worked with and gained "buy in" from all key stakeholders.

When you feel clear and comfortable about what's really important to you, and everything you do demonstrates this, even if others don't always agree with you, they will respect your integrity, trust you, and know where they stand. Chances are you'll have fewer tricky situations in future too!
2. Realise you don't have to know it all. There's a very interesting video on "You-Tube" which really demonstrates the almost frightening pace of change which affects business today. Check out Karl Fisch's "Shift Happens" when you have a moment.

For now, it's useful to see your role, not as being an "expert" at a particular subject, but rather an "expert" at helping to facilitate the expertise of others!
Instead of being intimidated by someone who seems more qualified than you, ask yourself: "How can I utilise this expertise for the benefit of the individual, the team, and the organisation?"
When you focus on what you can do to help others help you achieve the overall goals, not only do you get better results, you develop an awesome reputation as a highly skilled leader.

Every really successful CEO I've ever come across sees others' expertise and ambition as an opportunity - not a threat! The best managers just need to know how to engage smart people to get the job done.

3. Be willing to take risks, and go the extra mile to achieve things Building your own sense of personal power and influence comes from being willing to take risks yourself; from facing your fears, and dealing with what you know needs to be done.

At a personal level, if you don't face the underperforming member of staff, for example, because you don't feel confident to deal with it, you become trapped and nothing will be resolved until something forces the situation. Your confidence is likely to decrease even more as time goes on. Meanwhile, don't kid yourself others aren't noticing. They are. And this will further dent your confidence.

4. Admit your mistakes - and learn from them This really follows on from tip number 3.

If you're going to be willing to take risks - you won't always get it right! However, as long as you learn from that mistake, you will be ready to try something different, and each time you do, you'll increase your confidence. And if you create a culture where others see it's OK to make mistakes, you'll build the confidence of your staff too!
5. Give credit to others We all know people who are expert at extolling their own virtues! Individuals who have a high level of self-esteem and confidence don't need to shout about their accomplishments.

Don't feel the need to shout about what you've done, or what you know. Instead, give others the limelight at every opportunity. Whether you're managing up, down or across, think of how you can help others to excel, and you are more likely to be rewarded with excellence.

And when you achieve excellent results, allow yourself a pat on the back, accept any compliments about how well you managed those diverse individuals gracefully, and get excited about the next challenges!
Copyright (c) 2010 Shona Garner

Shona Garner is an experienced Executive and Business Coach, specialising in helping managers build top performing teams, and increase their own standing in the organisation. For instant access to a free guide with the top ten tips for motivating and engaging your team visit http://10toptips.increasingmanagerialsuccess.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Shona_Garner

How to Become a More Confident Student

If you are a university student who is studying and facing exams, you already know that you will benefit from learning better studying techniques and better note-taking methods. What you may not know is that an important part of being a good learner is to feel very confident about your learning ability.

Why is it important to have good confidence in our ability to learn?
When you don't have a good confidence in your learning ability, you will approach learning situations and exams in a state of nervousness and anxiety. A lack of confidence in your learning ability will actually interfere with you ability to study effectively, and it will interfere with your ability to remember what you have learned.

Being completely confident and happy about your learning ability will lessen your anxiety. Confidence in yourself will improve your learning perfomance and improve your memory of what you have studied.

How can you tell whether or not you lack confidence in yourself as a learner?
If you lack confidence about your learning ability, you probably already know it because you become very tense and nervous about facing exams.

When you are in a learning situation, pay attention to the sorts of thoughts that frequently go through your mind. What messages are you telling yourself? Spend several days becoming aware of the way you talk to yourself internally. Write down the thoughts that pass through your mind so that you can review them.

Are your statements about yourself mostly positive or mostly negative? Do your thoughts reflect confidence in your own abilities? Or are you constantly yelling at yourself for your mistakes and shortcomings? Are you calling yourself stupid, lazy, or unsuccessful?
If your statements to yourself about your learning ability are mostly negative, you may think that yelling at yourself will make you try harder and improve your performance. Actually, this negative self talk will increase your anxiety and will interfere with your ability to learn effectively.

Take some time to watch very young children learn. During the first few years of life, humans learn a huge amount of information at a much quicker rate than they will ever learn again. When very young children learn, they do so in an attitude of joy and exploration. They don't criticize themselves for being bad learners.

Even as adults, we do our best learning in an atmosphere of fun and exploration. We learn better when we think learning is fun. We don't learn as well when we tell ourselves that we are stupid.

If your negative opinion of yourself is holding you back, how do you go about changing it? Two very effective techniques that can help you change your self-image are affirmations and visualization.

Instead of focusing on your current negative self-assessments, focus instead on the kind of person you would like to be. What personal qualities do you want to have?
Write down a description of how you would like to be and how you would like to perceive yourself. Write out some simple phrases that express your desired qualities as something that you have right now.

Spend time creating images of yourself learning easily, and let the feelings of confidence fill you up. Revisit these positive images frequently. See yourself succeeding in your exams, and feel the sensations you would feel as you get a very good mark.

Using visualizations and affirmations correctly can go a long way to improve your confidence in your ability to learn, and when you are more confident about your learning ability, you will actually learn better.

This article is written by Royane Real, author of "Your Quick Guide to Improving Your Learning Ability" If you are a student who wants to improve your learning results, download this special report today at [http://www.royanereal.com]

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Royane_Real

Developing Courage - How to Become More Confident

About Courage
Courage is the ultimate decider when it comes to successfully reaching the desired results for goal setting.

Without the element of courage, even the slightest hint of a problem will create the negative factor which may cause the negativity to set in. Once the commitment is made towards a particular venture the courage element is the recognizable element that will keep the venture on track till its end.

However there are a few aspects that need to be carefully considered before beginning to consider setting up courage goals.

More often than not people become too comfortable at some point in life which can cause them to lapse in an unexciting or at worst unproductive cycle.

This is of course a very poor state of affairs which should be addressed. Sometimes getting out of the comfort zone requires the individual to face the fears such as feeling overwhelmed, decisions to move to the next level, expansions that are happening too quickly or slower than anticipated are just a few that can cause a certain level of panic for the individual.

There are many other varying elements that can cause a person to avoid venturing out of their comfort zones, but sometimes taking smaller steps is what is most effective rather than making rash and huge adjustments.

Though most individual tend to stick to what they are most familiar with, taking the challenge to try something new can often bring about surprising results.

Being open to trying something new is one way of breaking out of the comfort zone, as these new forays may require the individual to learn or acquire new skills or thought processes which can eventually be beneficial in other aspects of their lives.

Expanding one's social circles can also contribute to the exercise of stepping out of the comfort zone.

Networking is an important contributor to the expansion of one's social circle which dictates the connections formed both on personal levels as well as business levels.

Through this exercise there are many possibilities that can be made available to the individual and besides the obvious expanding contacts one's knowledge base can also be widened considerably.

Another less explored though still very effective is the use of meditation, music, imagination, breathing and body to break out of the comfort zone.

Though unconventional these techniques have proven to be beneficial and less "threatening" when explored.
You really need to get information and tools to build courage in every aspect of your life.

Donald N. Lombardi reveals more about courage in his new book, "Courage Conqueror" Courage Conqueror.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Donald_N_Lombardi

How To Be More Successful By Being Physically Fit

Could you imagine if your energy levels were endless and you could turn water into wine?
Okay, maybe not turn water into wine but imagine if you felt great, all the time. I know. It seems like a dream, but really, it's not.

Having the energy and superhuman power to be a business professional is easier than it sounds.

Lets be honest.

Most business professionals are slouched over a desk getting 5 colds a year with high blood pressure. Sadly, I've been there.

This is a pretty crappy place to be but you can overcome it and kick start your health to be a better business professional.

Here are 5 benefits of being physically fit and how they can make you more successful:
1) Know who you are by being confident
When you feel good, you look good and when you look good you're confident. Being physically fit encourages confidence by giving you the tools to stand up straight, look people in the eye and speak with conviction. This sends signals not only to yourself but also to others that you're proud and confident in who you are.

People do business with confident people. They know their products and / or services, they know themselves and they definitely know their clients.

2) Boost in brain power = boost in revenue
We've all heard that exercise is heart healthy but it also has significant benefits for your noggin (yes, that's your head).

If your brain is working better the more ideas you'll generate and the more rational you'll become. This is associated by a direct link to an increase in revenue.

3) Trash the feeling of stress by learning to cope with it
Being physically fit gives you the added benefit of receiving a constant flow of endorphins. These little brain neurotransmitters are your "feel-good" source and can be contributed to stress reduction.

The less stressed you are the more coherent and rational you'll be. Who wants to work for or deal with an irate maniac? Being able to cope with stress is crucial to becoming more successful.

4) If you're more efficient, more opportunities will open
One of the best benefits of being physically fit for business professionals is its ability to make you more productive. It boosts your energy, makes you alert and increases your confidence. All 3 of these produce a spike in your productivity.

We can conclude that the more productive you are the more gets done, right? Being more productive opens the door to added possibilities.

5) The more fuel you have, the more effort you can give the world
We can all feel like a drag during the day, it's normal. But another benefit of being physically fit is the spike in energy you'll experience. By delivering more oxygen and nutrients to your organs you'll feel like a new person. Okay, maybe not a new "person" but better than you did before.

The more energy you have, the more you can get done. The more you get done, the better off your business will be.

Be warned that there's one drawback to being fit. The I-need-to-be-more-fit-and-cardio-is -the-only-way-to-get-there mentality. Never, ever, ever get stuck in the mindset that you must do cardio to lose weight.

If you enjoy running half marathons, triathlons, and bicycling for 50 miles, that's great. But never think you have to if you don't enjoy it. Remember follow your passions.

The benefits of being physically fit for every entrepreneur is a no brainer. In order to achieve the greatest success, your mind, body and soul must be plentiful and healthy. If you can't take care of yourself, how can you take care of a business? It's a tough question, but think about it.

Do you have a comment on this topic? Head on over to the benefits of being physically fit and let's talk.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nate_Anglin

Becoming a Confident Person in Social Situations

Will becoming a confident person make people like you more? Will being a confident person bring you more success?
The experience of becoming a confident person has been recognized as the key factor between someone who is successful and someone who is not. Self-confident people have qualities that everyone admires.

Improving your self-confidence will strengthen your relationships and increase your success at work and at home.

How to Find Confidence Around People You Don't Know
Are you one of those people that always feel nervous and shy about how to start a conversation with a stranger or making small talk with someone you barely know? If it's any consolation, you are not alone. An incredible number of people confess to being awkwardly shy in social situations. Even people who consider themselves to be outgoing in everyday situations lose their confidence around people they don't know. How to mingle at parties without experiencing a panic sensation when the realization hits that there's not one familiar soul to be had becomes a very uncomfortable challenge.

How do people cope when shyness hits? When people don't feel confident in social situations, some will become wall flowers. Others will quietly sneak out as soon as possible. The brave ones struggle to make conversation but usually give up after getting interrupted or ignored and busy themselves in a text messaging marathon.

With a blow to your self-esteem, you may now start to criticize yourself. "Why am I such a loser? Why can't I fit in?" Once you start to pass judgment on yourself in your mind, any attempt at becoming a confident person quickly goes down hill.

A person who intuitively knows how to be more confident in social situations seems to inspire others and people are drawn to them. That's not to say a confident person is smarter or more knowledgeable and has all the answers. The truth is, a self-confident person is not afraid to ask questions on topics they are not familiar with. They feel little or no desire to impress others with what they know because they already feel comfortable in their own skin. They are confident with who they are.

How to Build Self Esteem and Confidence
By becoming a confident person, you allow yourself to take risks. The next time you find yourself in an awkward social setting, make it your own private goal to have at least one good conversation with someone.

If that someone turns out to be a dud, let it be. Keep looking until you really enjoy talking to someone and they are happy to have your acquaintance. Look at it this way, you probably are helping someone else who also has difficulty at being a confident person and interacting in social situations.

Once you get some dialogue going, rather than trying to control the circumstances that brought you together, relax, maintain eye contact and enjoy listening to what the other person has to say. Humor is refreshing, but don't feel like you have to be the life of the party. No one likes a comedian that's trying too hard to be witty.

Becoming a confident person can make you feel positive about your life. Knowing how to build self esteem and confidence will make you more attractive and fun to be around.

Read more on how you can Build Your Self Esteem and Confidence [http://www.mentalselfhelpsuccess.com/how-to-gain-self-confidence.html].

Talk directly to your subconscious mind - Self Confidence Affirmations Using Subliminal Therapy [http://www.mentalselfhelpsuccess.com/mental-self-help-pages-confidence/how-to-get-more-self-confidence.html]

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Margue_Rite

How to Become a More Attractive Man

So you want to learn how to be more attractive to women and get them to chase you. Well then let me tell you that it's not all about the looks and physical appearances (although that helps - a lot!)
Sure, who wouldn't want to look at rock hard abs, six packs, muscled arms, tall and muscular figure, ahem. But to the right woman, it takes more than abs and killer dimples to impress her (but again, that helps a lot!)

Carrying a normal conversation
You need to be able to carry a normal conversation with her, preferably something that doesn't involve leering or staring at her breasts. You can't exactly take her out on a date and be silent the whole time. But you can't bore her to death on your many awards and achievements either.

You need to learn to talk and listen and tell a story with humor and emotions. You need a variety of topics because the better you get at making conversations, the more women will find you fascinating and would want to spend more time with you.

Confidence
One of the most important things you need to be more attractive to women is to have confidence. One example is this whole "alpha male" attitude or take care behavior. No need to be bossy but women do like a man who can take charge and knows what he wants. It means that she can rely on you and you can take care of others as well as yourself.

In other words, you know your worth and that you're worthy of attention. You're strong and independent and you're well capable of protecting yourself and your partner. It's a magnetic behavior that can make women have goosebumps and make her feel all tingly inside. Imagine having a strong, confident man beside who would keep her safe.

Sense of humor
A sense of humor is a must if you want to be more attractive to women. This is especially important in communication. Again, you don't want to bore her or make her think that you're a stiff. Humor and laughter can help you bond with someone, in this case, your date.

She would want to spend time with you if you can make her laugh because you know how to make her feel good. You can socially connect with her and you can make her feel close to you. You can break the ice between the two of you and soon she would become more open and maybe even learn to trust you.

Get a life and find a passion
If you want to be interesting then you need to do something interesting. You can't impress her and say you're interesting if you spend most of your time being a couch potato. Go do something interesting, try some new things, new hobbies, or find a passion.

If you have something you're passionate about then you would have direction in your life. Maybe you really love sports or your career or you're into traveling. Traveling would be good because a lot of people like to travel. And if you have that special someone in your life, then you can take her with you and it will be even more fun!
Bottom line is, being attractive to women is not all about looks. It's about being you and being the right kind of man for her. You can have the rock hard abs but if you can't carry a conversation, or have a sense of humor, or have passion or confidence, then you're nothing more than eye candy to her.

These are just the first steps to attracting and keeping the woman of your dreams. Click Here to really get inside a woman's mind. Find out what she is thinking, what she really wants and how to secure the right woman in your life - minus the heartache and drama.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Meredith_Cruz

How to Combat Self-Doubt And Become More Confident

It's not unusual to feel inadequate and incompetent from time to time. It's when you feel like that more often than not, that it can become damaging and even paralyzing. When you find yourself constantly putting yourself down, it can prevent you from thriving in your life. You become uninterested in trying to learn and better yourself, and wind up discouraged and depressed. Could this be you?
Many times self-doubt is rooted in negative childhood experiences. If you were made fun of as a child, it could impact how you feel about your abilities today.

• Painful experiences can lead to a vicious cycle of self-doubt that plagues the mind over and over.

Often, while growing up, the people you surround yourself with can say hurtful things unknowingly that have a lasting impact. So how do you stop replaying those negative comments in your head from parents, teachers, and other kids?
Use the following techniques to eliminate self-doubt and become more confident:
Stop Internalizing Negative Criticisms
Other people's negative attitudes have more to say about them than they do about you. Don't let others ruin your day by allowing their negativity to be replayed over and over in your mind. Often when people take their anger out on you, it is a result of their own inadequacy.

• Get out of the habit of criticizing yourself. By rejecting others criticisms of you, you will be keeping your power rather than giving it all to them.
• Ignore the inner voice that constantly reminds you that you will fail. By not paying any attention to it, that nagging will eventually go way.
• Rather than being certain that you will fail, switch gears and believe that you will succeed.
• Surround yourself with people who will support you and who want to see you be the best that you can be.

Shape Yourself For Success
Thinking positively and saying positive things to yourself does nothing if you aren't actually working towards improving yourself and setting goals to achieve. You must be doing the work to make it happen. Keeping your end goal in mind, and visualizing the person you want to be can help you make the best choices. Another way to become self-assured is to jot down your positive qualities.

• Write down at least 5 things about yourself that you like. Read the list aloud every day when you wake up and every night right before you go to sleep. Hearing the good things you've listed will reinforce your belief in them.

While positive thinking can help put you on the right track in preparing yourself to succeed, you can also use these tactics to help achieve your goals:

• Make a list of your goals. Think about where you want to be in one year, five years, ten years, etc. Consider what smaller goals need to be achieved to attain the bigger goals, and make sure they are realistic. Setting unrealistic goals will set you up for failure and only discourage you further.
• Get to work. Once you have your goals in place, do something each and every day to move towards them.
• Celebrate your success. When you achieve a goal be sure to reward yourself. Avoid thinking that you do not deserve to succeed and honor yourself for your hard work and diligence.

Achieving small successes, a little bit at a time, will lead to greater confidence along the way. It may take baby steps to get there, but it's worth every one of them.

By the way, would you like to learn more about becoming happier, more self-assured, and more secure in who you are? If so, download my free guide with 25 ways to boost self-esteem & build confidence. Or visit http://www.rescueyourselfesteem.com where you'll find articles, positive affirmations, and inspirational wallpaper to support you in your journey to feel better about yourself.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Julianna_Gauthier

Improve Social Skills - How to Be More Talkative

FOR most people, barbecues, parties, lunches and weddings conjure up images of mouth-watering food, interesting people and a relaxing time. For some, such social events resemble nightmares.

Are you tired of watching social butterflies (or moths) flit from one group to another exuding confidence and jolly laughter as you grip your glass and grit your teeth painfully waiting for the second hand to slowly tick by?
It's easy to dismiss the importance of informal functions but believe it or not, many extraordinary events take place at these dos - opportunities knock, deals are closed and kindred spirits connect.

Become a social butterfly yourself by remembering these key points:
Be approachable
Take a deep breath. Smile. Relax. Look around to see if anyone is standing alone like you are. You'll be surprised to find out that there are other nervous people out there. Approach them if they smile in return. Start with a "Hello" and let the conversation flow naturally.

It's absolutely alright if nobody talks for a while - we do need to breathe (and eat or drink) every now and then. In fact, being a good listener is also part and parcel of being a good conversationalist, as advised by the late Dale Carnegie, author of the bestselling How to Win Friends and Influence People.

Don't be a wallflower - join the line at the buffet table and start chatting as you fill up your plate. Talking about food is easy and instantly engages people's interest. Remember to keep your comments light and positive. Keep your complaints to yourself!
An easy way to ensure that you will not shy away from the crowd is to set yourself a goal of talking to (and hopefully, getting to know) at least three new people when you attend a social function.

Be prepared
Since you're there to socialise, having a few questions on everyday topics can start or steer a conversation along. Closed questions allow the other person to respond easily with a "yes" or "no" and elaborate further if they want to. Examples of closed questions include:

"Have you tried the prawn cocktail?""Do you feel that it's getting warmer these days?"
"Are you a fan of Glee?"

Open questions invite the other person to talk about the topic in detail and help the both of you to find similar areas of interests. If you're out of ideas the furnishing and decorations, the food being served and the people around you may give you ideas of comments to make and questions to ask:

"Where are the best shopping spots in this corner of Kuala Lumpur? I'm from Penang, you see...""I have another friend getting married next week and I have no idea what to get her. What do you think are good wedding gifts?"

Rosalie Maggio's The Art of Talking to Anyone: Essential People Skills for Success in Any Situation has sample scripts for small talk at work, in meetings, at social events, on the phone and in public places with a selection of responses for typical conversational situations.

Besides everyday topics, your personal favourites are also interesting chat matter. Do you know the latest in pop culture (blogs, music, etc) and news (local, business, etc)? Did you return from a holiday recently? Or have you just started a hobby?
If you're lucky, you may meet someone you can click with instantly but be mindful of sidelining others in the room.

Make a mental note to exchange contacts with your kindred spirit and get the conversation back to the group.

Be yourself

"But I'm boring!"

My students' laments echo at the back of my mind but I remind them of a useful quotation from one of my favourite movies, starring Jason Biggs, Meena Suvari and Greg Kinnear: "Interested is interesting."

Nobody is more interesting than someone who is genuinely interested to hear what you have to say. In the movie, the lead character, Paul Tannek, appears to be the most socially inept person to step into New York University but he remembers his father's advice to him and applies it as he goes about trying to make friends.
Off the silverscreen, I was lunching alone at Chilli's one day when the waiter came to take my order. After doing his job, he asked me about my pregnancy and the conversation progressed to obstetrics, TV dramas like Grey's Anatomy and House and further studies in Malaysia.

Instead of a dull lunch alone, I ended up getting to know an articulate and intelligent young man who is on track for medical studies and will hopefully be one of our country's most promising citizens.

The point? I wouldn't have given him a second look as he was dressed like today's teenager are, in shirt and jeans, but he got my attention when his questions about my bulging belly were thoughtful and sincere.

Be sensible
While the young man above successfully started a conversation with a stranger on an unusual topic, personal comments or questions that touch on a person's age, appearance, ethnic background, marital status, political affiliations and financial background i.e. salary or house rent are still quite sensitive for most people.

Also, many fail to remember that informal functions, especially the ones organised for the office, are for people to get to know one another better but it's also a snake pit for scandals since you'll be back at work again on Monday.

Due to this, always, always remember your Ps and Qs, stay away from gossip (both the practice and the person) and stick to safe topics of conversation.

Lastly, few people care to chat if you answered the question, "How are you doing?" with a doleful disclosure of your medical condition or sighing about your family, money or marital problems. In reality, the ones who are interested in such revelations are usually the office gossip, Nosey Parkers, insurance or multi-level marketing agents.

At midnight, the party ended for Cinderella when her dress turned to rags, her footmen to rats and her stagecoach to squash, but if you practise making conversation, there'll be many more parties to come.

Christine Jalleh is a communications consultant and freelance writer. Also a corporate trainer with a master's degree in English, Christine knows the what, who, when, where, how and why of communications.

Experienced in the non-profit, private and government sectors, Christine has worked with clients from China to Kenya to Argentina to London and New York to reach their target audiences. She blogs at http://christinejalleh.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Christine_Jalleh

How to Be Confident on Stage

When people set foot on a stage, they usually are not completely fearless and calm or feel like their in their natural state. It is very common for people to experience stage fright, which can be very uncomfortable and hamper a performance. For those involved in careers such as music, theater, or public speaking, dealing with this fear is important. Here are some ways how to be confident on stage.

1. Posture shows confidence. Having good posture will make others think someone has confidence even if they are feeling uneasy. By standing tall, shoulder back, chest out, people feel like they are in a more dominant and commanding position. People will not only look more confident, but they will feel it as well.

2. Another thing to try is smiling. Too many people think that the only way to have confidence is to look and be serious. This actually can make people appear blank in the face because it is not the expression or state they are truly feeling. When a person naturally smiles, they become more relaxed and comfortable and those around them look at it as a positive thing. Also, when people smile, it tends to make those around them smile as well, which is great when in front of an audience.

3. Breathing is also helpful. When a person becomes nervous, their breathing patterns change. They tend to breathe at a much faster pace and this can lead to anxiety. Before going on stage, it is very helpful for people to take a minute to do a little deep breathing. The deep inhaling and exhaling can make someone feel a lot better.

4. Some people feel more confident on stage if they get out some of their nervous energy fifteen minutes before their performance. There are several ways to do this. One is to sing and dance backstage in private or to make a lot of noise.

5. Many people that are aware they have an upcoming performance will do things the night before to help get rid of nervousness. One thing many do is sometimes referred to as the embarrassment method. This method is about doing something embarrassing in public (karaoke is an example for some) the night before their performance.

Those were some ways how to be confident on stage. Anyone can try the above mentioned methods. The methods may not completely rid people one hundred percent of all of their fears but it can lessen them and help them deal with them.

This Coach Teaches How to Be Confident on Stage Here.
John Sparks writes about different arts related subjects including singing and the ways you can progress in singing.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=John_Sparks

How to Be More Confident About Your Body This Summer

Although this is far from ideal, such is life and there is absolutely no need to despair. Modern technology and some other very smart people have provided enough options to quick-fix yourself into being more confident this summer, despite your dress size.

Go Smooth
Smooth, silky skin will make you look and feel loads better, and in turn boost your confidence dramatically.

This does mean its time to get going with the buffing and preening, however this is a job well-worth the effort. Going hairless is your first step- shave, pluck or wax yourself gorgeous, it doesn't matter how you get there, but smoother, hairless skin will automatically boost morale. Exfoliating and moisturizing are also key tools in creating a smoother you. Regular exfoliation will not only make your skin glow, but used repeatedly can also stimulate circulation and reduce the appearance of cellulite. The moisturizer will just help create supple, glowing skin and that in itself can make you instantly more confident.

Bronze
Nothing will do more for your confidence than a decent tan. A tanned, bronzed physique can perform wonders. It will make you appear slimmer, more toned and healthier. The multitude of options available also means that you can achieve this healthy glow in a matter of a few a minutes. Self-tanners do tend to take a little longer to work, however there are some great bronzers on the market too, which take mere minutes to turn you into a bronzed goddess. For the ultimate confidence boost- use BOTH! A decent self-tan job, highlighted with some bronzer will leave you glowing.

Suit your Suit
So you are not quite happy with what stares back at you from the bathroom mirror. The sight isn't exactly doing much for your confidence or self-esteem either, but, yet again, there is a quick-fix waiting to save the day. It is as simply as wearing clothing that suits and flatters, particularly when it comes to your beach attire.

Different shapes simply need to be dressed differently, and the illusions you can create using some simple principles, are nothing short of amazing.

In with the Water, out with the Salt!
The ultimate quick-fix in order to enhance confidence levels is to simply tackle unnecessary bloating. In order to give the appearance of a slimmer waistline and reduce water retention, drink lots of water and cut down on your sodium (salt) intake. This is one of the most effective strategies in improving your appearance, specifically around the stomach area. This simple daily routine should also help increase energy, improve you sleep and contribute to a better complexion.

Surgical Solutions
Although being realistic about the fallacy of human perfection is important, there also does come a time when surgical options to enhance your appearance may become a real option. If you have problem areas that simply can't be tackled with regular exercise and healthy diet, cosmetic surgery may provide an alternative way to increase confidence. Without looking to create a Barbie doll- like figure, sometimes no amount of tan, exfoliation and correct dressing can help to hide a part of your body which may be of particular concern. In this case, it is important to know that there is an option out there for you. The UK has some highly qualified and professional companies out there who are able to offer lipo at some reasonable rates, making it more accessible than ever before.

For more information on this, please visit: http://www.thehospitalgroup.org

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Julie_Samuel

How to Become More Outgoing and Gain Confidence and Self Esteem

Winning the battle to become more outgoing is well worth the effort, because you gain confidence and self esteem and this leads to an improved quality of life.

There are many books, courses, and programs dedicated to the subject of how to become more outgoing and gain confidence and self esteem, but to get you started quickly, here are a few techniques that you can practise right now.

* I Feel Wonderful *
Each morning jump out of bed. Literally jump out of bed. Immediately go to a (full length) mirror, stretch out your arms above your head and shout out loud, "I feel wonderful!" Really believe this as you shout it, and repeat it loudly at least 10 times.

This may feel a little unusual to you at first, but if necessary, do it in the bathroom if you're concerned what other people may think of you.

As these words become absorbed by your subconscious, you will start to feel great about yourself, and much more able to face any challenges during the day ahead.

* Smile *
Smile at yourself when you are in front of a mirror. Smile at people as you pass them in the street and they will smile back at you.

It's much easier to smile than to frown, and it makes you feel a whole lot better too. You'll soon gain confidence and self esteem and become more outgoing
* Learn How To Walk *
Your demeanor is a reflection of your confidence and self esteem, and one thing you can do that mimics confident people, is to walk more slowly. Confident people move slowly and with ease when they walk, and they have a pride in their step.

You should follow their example. And if you also hold your head up high, you'll soon start to notice a difference in yourself. In a short time you'll walk this way without thinking about it, and you'll automatically become more outgoing.

* Will This Work For Me? *
97% of all of the people who read this article will let their preconceived ideas come to the fore, and they will do nothing. They certainly won't become more outgoing or gain confidence and self esteem. They will though moan that nothing works for them, and that life has dealt them a terrible hand!
But if you are one of the open-minded 3% that's prepared to do something to improve your life, then you will see the rewards. Reward is directly proportional to the effort you put in to it.

Before you laugh and discount the above ideas, we urge you to put any preconceived ideas behind you, and give the above things a try for a month. You will become more outgoing and gain confidence and self esteem and the difference in you will be amazing.

If changing your life is really important to you, and you'd like to crank up your confidence to previously unheard of levels, then the following resources will be of great interest to you.

Get free help and advice with debt problems?:
Debt Consolidation Loans
Debt Consolidation Lenders

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=George_Mcnaney

Modeling Tips - How to Be Confident in Front of the Camera

Many models starting off in this line of work will feel awkward when looking into a camera. Modeling is even more of a challenge I think because you need to pose in various positions for strangers. What I recommend doing is first looking into the camera with a straight and natural face. You do not have to smile in the beginning, instead what you can do is just turn your head from left to right.

Crossing your legs is also a very natural pose. Sometimes when I'm shooting models I start a conversation about a light topic. I have them sit down and cross their legs. I ask them to introduce themselves and talk about their favorite dessert or animal. It is important to feel comfortable with the topics you are talking about.

As a personal preference I like to start with the model's fingers and finger nails because this is what a lot of models take pride in. Show your nails to the camera. If a model has clean and well manicured finger and toe nails she's going to feel more confident showing them off, especially if they are decorated in pastels, hot pinks, and various patterns. I think it's easier to show your hands in front of a camera than your body. Start a conversation about her finger nails. If you have a male model then maybe you can talk about his workout routine.

Humor is also a plus as it always helps the subject to relax and be more natural. Beauty is natural; having fun is natural; smiling is natural and being happy with what you are doing is totally natural. She begins to open up and find her inner charm. You as the photographer must encourage them and reaffirm their beauty and that everything she is doing is good, and that no pose is the wrong pose. A good model needs to have a good camera man who can encourage the aspiring model.

Affirmations are another great way to feel confident in front of the camera. Repeat positive words like beautiful, sunshine, bubbles, and butterflies. You can say these things to the camera. The more you do this the less shy you will become. Hopefully, you'll soon realize that posing in front of a camera isn't that bad at all.

Less rehearsed and choreographed modeling is what should be your goal.

In modeling, the challenge here is trying to overcome your fear of being leered at by a cameraman who wants to bring out your sexy side. The photographer will do his or her best to bring out the very best image of you on film because it's his/her reputation on the line, so the photographer will help you to relax by helping you discover the truest essence of your beauty. As you gain more experience working in front of the camera you will become less shy and more self-confident, so good luck.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Tony_Lajuan_Alexander

How To Be More Outgoing and Confident In 5 Simple Steps

Want to know how to be more outgoing and confident? Then this article is for you. We all know that shyness is a crutch. It's frustrating and debilitating. It makes you pass up or miss out on opportunities that would have otherwise helped you grow and improve.

In other words, shyness doesn't help you. And you don't necessarily have to suffer its consequences.

Overcome shyness with these simple steps on how to be more outgoing and confident.

Step 1: Change Your Body Language.

It says a lot. Looking down on the ground, not meeting other people's eyes, slouching, slumping your shoulders and putting your hands in your pockets - these don't really communicate confidence.

Instead, practice making eye contact, speaking clearly, gesturing openly with your hands and standing straight.

Step 2: Act Like You're Not Shy.

You've probably heard of the saying, "Fake it till you make it." As strange as it sounds, it is a very good piece of advice.

When you feel awkward inside, keep calm and collected outside. Act as if you're confident until you eventually find that confidence. It also helps to imagine different scenarios and practice what you might say or do, so you can be better prepared.

Friends can also help you to learn how to be more outgoing and confident. They can help you practice and make you feel better.

Step 3: Be Your Best.

This is one way to instantly build your confidence. The more you feel good about yourself, the more likely it is that people will see you the same way.

Want to know how to be more outgoing and confident in no time? Dress sharply, practice good posture and walk with purpose. Be polite and always offer to help. Listen and let others talk, but speak up when you have to.

Step 4: Be Optimistic.

Having a negative outlook on your situation, or the people around you, will do nothing for your self-esteem. Let all this go and watch your spirits rise along with your self-worth and confidence.

Step 5: Learn From Others.

Observe extroverts who are the epitome of confidence and social success. How do you think they do it? How do they speak, act or relate to other people?
Take mental notes of these and emulate them. This doesn't mean that you will speak or act exactly the same as another person (unless it fits you and appropriate in certain situations). This is to give you an idea and a guide to help you find your own brand of confidence.

Remember that your potential is limitless. Learning how to be more outgoing and confident doesn't just help you overcome your shyness. It also helps you make the most of your abilities to help you succeed and be the best you can be.

To help you achieve your dreams in record time, I'd like to give you instant access to more than 100 of the best free self-improvement ebooks that could greatly transform your life! Download them free at http://www.20daypersuasion.com/goldaccess.htm

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Michael_Lee

Self-Confidence - How to Get Confident Around Any Guy, Anytime

Has anyone ever told you that you need to show more self confidence? Are you shy and unsure of yourself around the opposite sex? Do you ever feel unattractive or awkward when talking to a man you're interested in? If so, then you need a lesson in asserting yourself as a bold, attractive woman. Men are automatically drawn to women with lots of self-confidence, just like women are drawn to men who know they are attractive and worthwhile. Read on to find out how to boost your confidence and use it to attract men.

You'll never feel hot and sexy if you don't like the way you look, so dress up and do your hair and makeup. This is for your benefit as well as his. When you know you look good, you put off vibes that say, "I'm hot!" You don't have to be perfect to feel attractive, though. Obsessing over your appearance will only make you more critical of your flaws. No one is perfect, and the best thing you can do for your confidence is learn to love yourself. Do this by taking care of yourself with good nutrition, exercise, and pampering. Know which clothes flatter your figure, and use makeup sparingly so that your natural beauty will radiate.

Don't forget to nurture yourself emotionally as well. Inner happiness will shine through in your smile, your actions, and the way you present yourself. Do things that make you happy on a daily basis. This will make you smile and laugh more, which will attract guys like a moth to a flame. If you do something that you are passionate about, you will be naturally confident around guys when you're talking about it. Nurturing your interest is also a good idea because it will give you lots of great conversation material and make you and interesting (and informative) catch.

Take steps to boost self-esteem and you will automatically become more attractive to men. Your face will glow, you will be more energetic, and your body language will change for the better. This is a recipe for success if you're looking for a good man who likes highly confident, emotionally secure women.

If you are looking for a system to make every man adore you, chase you, love you, and commit to you, click Unforgettable Woman Advice If you're ready for a highly effective method that's different from what every else is teaching, click 77 Secrets to Attract and Keep Him Now. You don't want to miss this!
This article is contributed by Tina Jones. Tina is part of the Unforgettable Woman Publishing Team. She works together with founder Alexandra Fox and writes dating/relationship articles for women who want to understand male psychology, how to attract men, and find true love. You can find more about Unforgettable Woman Publishing by visiting their website.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Tina_L._Jones

How To Make Your Breasts Bigger And Feel More Confident With Your Body

You may be interested to find out how to make your breasts bigger. It is rather unfortunate that not all women are blessed with fuller, more supple breasts, isn't it? Well, It's not like you would really flaunt your breasts in public, and neither is it a totally bad thing to have small breasts but the fact is, it could make you feel more confident when you do have more beautiful breasts.

You've probably heard of silicon implants to give you fuller breasts, but you must have also heard that there are ways you can have more developed breasts without undergoing any invasive procedure or at least create an illusion that you have fuller breasts.

Exactly how to make your breasts bigger without surgery? Get a breast massage. Yes, breasts need to be massaged, too, from time to time. This will increase blood flow to the breasts, eventually firming up the breasts, while at the same time improving the appearance of the nipples and the surrounding areas. A breast massage can be done two or three times a week and usually involves just four easy steps that you can do by yourself.

To do a breast massage, apply breast cream on the surrounding area first, and then with very gentle strokes, smooth your fingers from the nipple out, as if combing your hair but without using too much pressure as you could impede the release of toxins out of the body. Once you are done with this step, massage the breast area by making lifting movements, alternating these with pressing movements. To be sure that you get this step right, think of how you would knead a pizza or a cookie dough - that's exactly how you would perform this second step of the breast massage. The next step requires that you gently twist your breast clockwise first and then counter-clockwise, being very cautious that you do not apply too much pressure on the area yet. After successfully doing this step, press both your hands on your breast using moderate pressure to squeeze the fluids out.

Doing a breast massage regularly can do a lot of wonders on the size, feel, and look of your breasts, but this is not the only thing you should rely on. Working on your posture will be a very big help, too, if you must know. Stand erect, with head held up high and your chest out. Get into this habit by practicing walking with a book on your head. It may sound difficult, but once you get into it, it gets easier until it becomes second nature to you.

Well, you can also use a little bit of help from posture bras or gel bras. Bras that are gel-based, air-based or water-based can make the breasts look fuller than they are and they can even create cleavage. But of course, to max out their effects, make sure that they are properly fitted. Get some professional help to be certain that the bra you are wearing is just the right size.

Know what to wear. Ruffled necklines, V-necks, gathered bustlines, empire cuts, and lacy camisoles, all give the illusion of larger, fuller, and more defined breasts.

Now that you know how to make your breasts bigger, improving your level of confidence will just naturally follow.

You may want to try anything, but I am pretty sure you are eager to know how to make your breasts bigger naturally fast without surgery or pills or exercises, right? So, here it is: http://www.how-to-increase-breast-size.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Xiella_Andrews

7 Simple Steps to a More Self Confident Life

Your self confidence affects just about everything in your life. How well you get along with people, your relationships with friends and family, as well as your job opportunities are all directly affected by how confident you feel about yourself. In fact, how confident you feel affects how well you enjoy your life!
People that don't feel good about themselves, people that lack self confidence, can find the prospect of a job interview terrifying. They experience poor relationships, if they have any real relationships at all. They find themselves in constant fear of losing their jobs because they aren't able to express themselves in front of their boss of in group situations.

Socially these people also struggle. How can they find someone to go out with when the mere idea of meeting new people petrifies them? Social events and encounters are painful illustrations of their lack of confidence.

Life doesn't have to be like this. With a change in perspective, a little help and some work, you can have the self confidence you desire. Here are seven simple steps to help you develop more self confidence.

1. Decide to make a Change
Once they've decided, nearly everyone finds making a change easier. Every change I've ever made, from getting in shape to learning how to be more personable, has been a result of deciding to make that change.

All changes are relatively easy once you've decided to make them. So if you think you'd like to be more confident, make the decision to be more confident today. That leads us to step number two.

2. Why is it Important to You?
Once you've made a decision to change, in this case deciding to become more confident, its time to figure out why it's important to you. Why specifically do you want more confidence? Is it so that you can speak up in meetings at work? Is it so that you'll be able to meet someone to go out with? Is it so you'll be able to learn better at school or play a sport better? Whatever it is you need to understand and define it so that you can motivate yourself with it. This leads to step three.

3. Make it a Goal
Here's where the rubber meets the road. Many people know they need to change and decide to change. They know what result they want out of the change but they don't make it a goal. They wish their life would change, they think their life should change but they don't take the steps needed to make the change. When you make a goal you not only decide what you want your outcome to be but you also figure out the steps you will need to do to achieve it.

Now this can't be merely a mental exercise. In order to make your goal achievable you need to write down your outcome. Once you've written down your outcome you need to write down the steps you need to do to achieve it. Writing down your goal and the steps you need to achieve it does two things for you. First it makes your goal a real tangible thing instead of merely a dream. Second, writing down the steps gives you the ability to make corrections as necessary to help you stay on track.

For example your outcome is to be able to speak up more in business meetings. Your outcome might be "I will express my opinion in every business meeting." The steps you might outline to achieving this goal might be:

1. Prepare for meetings and know what topics are going to be discussed.
2. Talk to someone or find someone to model who speaks well at meetings you attend. (see step 4)
3. Prepare a one-line comment on one of the topics.
4. Practice what you will say in the theater of your mind (see step 5)
5. Express your comment at the meeting.
Now you have a goal that is achievable you might need some help. So that leads us to step 4.

4. Find Someone to Model
From the time we are babies we model other people's actions and behaviors. Have you ever done something and after noticing what you've done said to yourself, "That is exactly what my mother/father would have done?" That is a form of modeling, just at an unconscious level.

A more empowering form of modeling is when you find someone that has the characteristic(s) you want to have and purposefully model it. If you want to be able to speak well in front of groups, find someone who is good at speaking in front of groups and model her behavior. See how she stands, how she holds her head, how she speaks and uses her hands. If you are a man looking for a way to meet women, find a man who is already good at meeting women and model his behavior. What does he say? How does he dress? What are his mannerisms?
Whatever it is, there are lots of models to choose from. They include friends, acquaintances, family members, professional coaches, training videos and just about anyone else on the planet. An important point to remember is that the best model is one you like and you are able to adapt your own personality to.

Once you have someone to model its time for step five.

5. Visualize Your Success
From master pianists to NASCAR drivers, all people who are good at something have one thing in common, they practice. If you want to be good at talking in front of people you have to practice. If you want to be good at conversing in social situations you have to practice. Of course if you go about whatever you want to do without rehearsing it can be quite nerve wracking. In fact if you try something that you are not good at yet and fail completely it is possible your progress might be set back indefinitely.

So how can you prepare for a successful outcome? You can visualize your success in the theater of your mind. Let's say you want to be able to speak up at business meetings. Find a place where you can sit or lie down comfortably without being disturbed. Now relax. Use some progressive muscle relation or just tell yourself I am relaxed and calm, relaxed and calm, over and over again until you are relaxed and calm.

Now play a movie in your mind of how you would like for the events to transpire. Make the movie as vivid and clear as possible. Use your imagination to see the details, hear the voices and other sounds in the room.

Feel how you would sit. Then in your mind address the group as if you already had the confidence you are striving to develop. Notice how you appear, how your heart beats, how you breathe. Make the adjustments necessary to achieve the outcome you desire. If you are having problems seeing yourself accomplishing the task(s) well, focus on the why, the potential benefits you'll get from achieving your goal. Practice over and over again until you have that image etched firmly in your mind.

Once you've practiced with visualization it's time for step six.

6. Go Do It
You've decided to change. You know the reason(s) you want to change. You know your motivation. You have a model and you've prepared in the theater of your mind. Now its time to give it a try. If what you want to do is speak in your business meetings at work, give it a try. Even if it's only a few words or to comment on someone else's comments, as long as you are doing something that is moving you toward your goal, just do it. If you are looking to meet more people you might start by smiling at people you meet and saying "hi". You will become more confident through the process of stretching yourself. This will move you toward your goals.

Now that you've actually done what you set out to accomplish its time for the final seventh step.

7. Decide that Everything is Feedback
When we start new things, from playing a new sport to meeting new people, we are not going to be excellent at it from the very start. Everything takes practice. When you do something you are not good at (yet) you are stretching yourself, you feel uncomfortable and you will make some mistakes.

Developing confidence in whatever it is you want to develop it in will also take practice. And just like learning anything, you will sometimes do things that you may not have preferred to do if you were "perfect" at it. You will make some mistakes.

When that happens remind yourself that mistakes are the way we all learn. A mistake is not failure, it is merely feedback. By calling it feedback you have re-framed or redefined your results.

So from now on instead of thinking of having "failed" when things don't work out "right" merely observe what happens and call them "results". Understand the feedback you have been given by your results and apply it to approaching your task differently the next time. The key is to remember that no matter what results you achieve, when you define them as feedback, they become either actions you want to do again or actions you don't want to do again. You now are experiencing feedback instead of failure.

Once you start seeing your results as feedback you'll begin adjusting your actions to match what you want to achieve. This will help you persist until you achieve your desired outcome. If you are committed to this process you will be able to build life long confidence in any area of your life.

So let's review the seven steps.

1. Decide to change.
2. Decide why it's Important
3. Understand Your Motivation
4. Find Someone to Model
5. Visualize Success
6. Go Do It
7. Decide that Everything is Feedback

That's it, seven simple steps that can move you toward confidence in any area of you life. Seven easy steps toward achieving more out of life. So what are you waiting for? Why not start on your life long confidence journey today?

Bio
Wil Dieck is the founder of Total Mind Therapy, a combination of hypnosis, NLP, breathing techniques from the martial arts and visualization used for goal setting. His practice is located in San Diego, California. For more information about Wil and his practice please go to http://www.TotalMindTherapy.net

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Wil_Dieck

How to Kiss - The Top Secrets to Kissing Success

So you want to be a good kisser? Great! Anyone can become a good kisser with some time and techniques.

But it also requires that you answer a certain question:
Do you BELIEVE you can kiss a girl with confidence?
Because if you don't feel confident when kissing, your kissing techniques aren't going to be worth squat!
Don't worry, though. I will show you how to kiss well, and how to kiss with confidence, with proven "Kissing 101" techniques.

How to Kiss with Confidence
To kiss confidently, follow a few steps:
1) If you've NEVER kissed before, or have yet to kiss the person you're attracted to at the moment, the best thing you can possibly do is RELAX. Take a few deep breaths. VISUALIZE how your kissing is going to go well. Once you're in a great mental state of mind, believing in yourself ALWAYS (as in, you carry this relaxation every minute of every day!), you'll be ready to kiss with success.

Also go ahead and TELL YOURSELF how you are a good kisser. If it's something you're really that nervous about, drum into your head the statement: "I am a good kisser. Women (or men) love my kissing.

Kissing with me is FUN." You can't fail when you get yourself believing in that!
2) Remember that the first kiss does NOT have to be great. If you're a guy, remember that girls are very understanding, and you can actually laugh about it. I know so many couples who joke about their first kiss. Many guys get awkward around girls when they kiss, but girls will forgive you if it's not perfect!
If you're a woman, you have even less reason to get nervous. Guys are nervous, too, so just have fun with it and remember that you're in the same boat! In fact, the best way you can act is to be understanding with the guy--yet passionate at the same time. As long as you TRY and give the guy a chance to do what he wants (while guiding him the way you want it), you'll find the kissing to be both fun and intimate.

3) Now learn the RIGHT way to kiss. I'll cover the basics, but they'll just get you started. For a very cheap guide to all the ways you can kiss right with any type of woman (or man), I highly recommend Kissing 101. It's a very professional, solid e-course that gives you an audio course, pictures, and the rights and wrongs of kissing. In other words, you'll learn all you need to know about kissing for success.

Affection Kissing
On the other side, if you want to show your girl affection, kissing is the best way to say you love her. As Kissing 101 tells you, women LOVE surprises, so nothing shows you love your girlfriend (or wife) like a surprise, spontaneous kiss out of nowhere! She'll love it, and thank you for it. She'll also reward you for it, by staying with you and treating you great.

Happy wife, happy life!
This works great in relationships, too. Kissing for affection can bring about loyalty like no other, and pleasant surprises. You may just find your girlfriend or boyfriend starts bringing you breakfast in bed, buying you presents, and acting sweeter. Reward them with those fun, out-of-nowhere kisses that show just how much you love her, and she'll take care of you.

Try it!
Intimacy Kissing
Imagine you're on a date and want to move things to the next level. The best way to get the kissing going? TALK ABOUT how you want to do it! If you're a guy, nothing gets a girl more interested in kissing than HEARING how much you'd like to kiss her. Likewise, if you're a lady, well, yes, guys DO love to kiss, and hearing how you want to kiss them will definitely get things started! Most of all, it will relax both of you, knowing that a kiss is on its way--not some awkward, completely out-of-left-field, unpassionate kiss.

Remember from above: visualizing success, and being in a relaxed and confident state of mind before talking about and doing the kissing, IS the best way to move in for a kiss.

Once you do get to kissing, kiss with passion: don't half-job it! Use your arms, your body: press into her, touch her face with your hands, stroke her hair. All these things show you're serious about intimacy and want her in the worst way.

You'll find that kissing and its related passion are what make your relationship fun, exciting, and even full of trust. Nothing conveys trust and fidelity more than a good, long kiss.

The Next Step to Become More Confident Kissing
To learn more great kissing techniques, and how to build the CONFIDENCE to kiss the girl as well, take a look now at the ultra-helpful Kissing 101 [http://www.mybuyortry.com/how-to-attract-women-courses].

Whether it's learning how to be confident around women, where to kiss a girl on her body, or learning fun kisses like the 'butterfly kiss' and 'Spider-man kiss,' this guide will solve not only your kissing problems, but also any issues you have with becoming more intimate and taking your relationship further.

You won't regret learning how to be someone EVERY woman (or man) wants to kiss!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ethan_M_Parker

Increase Self Confidence - Feel Sure of Yourself in 3 Easy Steps

There's a simple way to increase your feelings of self confidence and feel more sure of yourself in every area of your life.  You don't have to spend the rest of your life doubting yourself and second-guessing your decisions.  You don't have to feel nervous and tongue-tied when you talk to other people.  You can feel confident and sure of yourself in every situation.  Before I get into how to do that though, it's important that you understand what really causes you to feel a lack of self confidence.
 
The One Thing That Causes Low Self Confidence
All of your feelings of not feeling confident enough in your life are caused by one simple thing: your patterns of negative thinking.  You probably got into the habit of thinking negatively about yourself at an early age.  If your parents or teachers were often critical of you or if you had a painful experience of failure or rejection, you may have decided that you are not capable of succeeding at your goals.  You may have developed the habit of thinking that you are not good enough.  These negative thinking patterns are still affecting you.  If you really want to increase your self confidence, it's time to let go of them now.

Step 1: Recognize Your Negative Thinking Patterns
To begin with, you need to start seeing that your negative thoughts are actually affecting how confident you feel.  To do this, begin to notice when you start to feel anxiety or self-doubt creeping in.  As soon as you are aware of this feeling, take a moment to write down what you are thinking in that moment.  Ask yourself:
What am I thinking about right now and what negative thoughts or expectations am I having about it?
Step 2: Take a Moment To Relax
After you've written down at least one negative thought, close your eyes and take three to ten deep breaths, focusing your attention on the air going in and out of your lungs.  This will help you to relax and clear your mind so you'll be able to do the next step more easily.

Step 3: Replace Them With Positive Thoughts
The next step is to come up with an alternative way of thinking about the situation that helps you feel more confident and sure of yourself.  You might tell yourself thoughts like these:
 
It will all work out fine.  I know I can do it.  The more I practice, the better I'll get.
 
Don't worry if this takes a little time to come up with better feeling thoughts to begin with.  As you practice, this process will become easier for you.  When you take the time to change your negative thoughts on a regular basis like this, eventually you'll find that more positive, confident ways of thinking will start to come naturally to you.  When that happens, you will have discovered the secret to feeling more confident in every area of your life.

Laura Lawson Boatman is a licensed therapist and writer and she is passionate about helping people to achieve their full potential in life. She is the author of The Creating Confidence and Success Program, an innovative program designed to help people quickly and easily transform negative habits of thinking and experience their natural state of confidence, well-being, and inspiration. For her free guide and online audio recording to help you quickly increase your self confidence, please visit http://www.CreatingConfidenceandSuccess.com.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Laura_Lawson_Boatman

Be More Successful With Men - 3 Things Women Should Know

Are you one of those women who spend Friday nights at home on your couch with your remote control switching one channel to another and wondering why you are home while girls your age are out there dating their prince charming? Do you want to be more successful with men and get the kind of relationship you've always wanted with the right man? The following tips can be very helpful if you want success with men.

Have that positive attitude. To be more successful with men, you have to posses a positive attitude. Have you been around someone who has that positive aura that even if he or she is not the most physically attractive person in the room, the positive aura makes that person so irresistible? A person like that is like a fresh breath of air. By being positive, funny and cool, you are attracting people (including men) and giving them an experience that they want to have over and over again. If you are a positive person, you can bring out the best in people even in bad situations and that is very admirable. You usually do not just react but you choose to be proactive. Instead of complaining, you often focus on the solution and create a positive energy to make a bad situation better. It is easier for a woman with positive attitude to be more successful with men than those who are so negative.

Have that confidence. Confidence and success goes hand and hand so if you want to be more successful with men, you must have that confidence. People who lack confidence usually does not grab the opportunities presented to them and let those opportunities passed them by. In a room filled with people, a person with low self-esteem usually stays in one corner of the room letting the opportunity to meet someone great just passed her by or she just stays with her usual group and does not explore the possibilities of meeting other people outside her group. If you really want to be more successful with men, have the confidence to grab the opportunity to meet new people. If you are a naturally shy person, confidence is not something that will happen overnight but by taking baby steps and constant practice you will learn how to be more confident. Good grooming, good posture, the way you talk or converse and the way you carry yourself are all part of building your confidence and all of these can be learned. Overtime, you can overcome your shyness and be more confident and more secure with yourself. When this happens, you are giving yourself the chance to be more successful with men.

Do not compare yourself to other women. One thing that could prevent you from having success with men is the habit of comparing yourself to other women. If you want to be more successful with men, stop saying she's fairer, flawless, more beautiful, sexier, smarter, that is why men are drooling over her." If you want to be more successful with men, this kind of attitude or thinking is not helpful because it will just make you feel inferior. There will always be people more beautiful, sexier and gorgeous than you but the most important thing is accepting yourself who you really are and you are confident that you have unique qualities that make you stand out from the rest. It is easier to be more successful in men when you become more at ease with who you really are and accepted that you are a unique person with unique qualities.

You do not have to have that supermodel beauty and body to be more successful with men. Attracting men is a skill that can be learned, to know how to be the woman men adore, visit Attract and Magnetize Men. To know more about dating, love and relationships visit The Best Love Guide
Gerry Restrivera writes informative articles on various subjects including Be More Successful With Men - 3 Things Women Should Know. You are allowed to publish this article in its entirety provided that author's name, bio and website links must remain intact and included with every reproduction.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Gerry_Restrivera

Developing A Positive Self-Perception To Become More Confident

One of the first steps for building self-confidence is developing a positive self-perception of yourself.

Self-perception can also be known as your self-image and it is an important part of the process when you are teaching yourself how to be more confident.

What do you think of yourself? What are some of your good qualities? Are you a person who cares about others? Are you hard working? Are you a creative person? Do you have any particular skills? Most importantly do you think you are a good person?
These are just a few examples of what you need to think about in order to develop a positive self-perception of yourself. Self-perception is all about how you perceive yourself to be. It is your own personal evaluation of who you think you are.

Your own self-perception can be influenced by many different aspects of your life such as your personality, the things that you do, your abilities, your job or even the group of people you associate with such as your friends, your family, people you work with or members of your community.

All of these things combine to give you a perception or image of who you think you are. Your self-perception is the result of your own self-evaluation of all the things you know about yourself.

How To Develop A Positive Self-Perception
Now nobody is completely perfect and all of us have flaws in our personalities or areas of our life that we would like to improve on, but in order to develop a positive self-perception you must only focus on the positives in your life or the good qualities you think you have. Just like everybody has flaws, everybody also has some good qualities about them that can be used to develop a positive Self-Perception.

Some more examples of the things you might take into consideration when trying to develop a positive self-perception can include:-

• Your past achievements - What are some of the things you have managed to achieve in your life? Are you proud of these achievements?
• The nature of your personality - Are you a caring person? Are you easy going and friendly?
• You personal morals and ethics - Are you a loyal, honest and trustworthy person?
• Your work ethic - Are you a hard working, committed and reliable person?
• Your skills - Do you have any particular work skills or sporting skills that you are proud of?
• Your unique personality - What are the good qualities about your personality that makes you different from other people?

You should focus on anything in your life that is positive and the things that make you feel good about yourself.

This may be a little harder for some than others especially if you are not feeling very confident in yourself at the moment, but if you take a step back and really evaluate all the different aspects of your life and your personality you will realize that you do have qualities that make you a good person.

This process of evaluating yourself is a good way to develop a positive self-perception and it is also a good way to find out the areas of your life where you would like to make a change for the better.
Having a positive self-perception is the starting point or foundation to building self-confidence that will last and be able to withstand any setbacks and obstacles you may encounter in your life.

Nate Edwards runs a website called BeconfidentBeHappy.com [http://beconfidentbehappy.com] where you can find useful information and helpful resources for building self-confidence [http://beconfidentbehappy.com/how-to-be-confident-by-building-solid-foundations/].

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nate_P_Edwards

How to Become More Approachable to People

People feel the most socially at ease with people who look good, carry themselves with social grace, poise, and confidence. Additionally we all feel the most comfortable with other people who look like they will accept us and not reject our social approaches. Whether you are looking to approach people for initiating a business relation, a social friendship, or a romantic relationship, learning how to master your personal approachability puts you in the drivers seat. The more you can be approachable with others, the more you increase your personal master and your interpersonal skill level of putting others at ease. When you master your people skills, everyone wants to know you, be your friend, and do business with you.

Increasing your approachability starts with your personal grooming care level.

Do Groom with Excellent Self Care
The first step towards becoming more approachable with other people is to practice excellent personal grooming and self-care. People who care about themselves groom well, reflecting their personal confidence.

 Increasing the level of your personal grooming means you want to pay attention not only to all of the basics which include the obvious items of you bathing and using deodorant each day. Excellent self care grooming entails that you give extra attention to the small details. Giving your extra attention to the little details translates to your possibly showering more than once a day. The small details can be that you carry a toothbrush and dental floss with you at the office so your mouth is always its freshest best throughout the day and before the important business meeting after lunch.

Dress with polish and flare
Whether you are dressing casually to run your errands on the weekend or you are putting on your office business executive power suit, dress with polish and flare. You can be a blue collar man wearing a trade business uniform and still your uniform is washed, ironed, and your collar is crisply starched. Whatever your profession, you need not dress in a way which is slovenly. Do so always puts others off from wanting to approach and talk with you.

It can mean that you always have a clean business shirt stored away at your office so that if you accidentally spill coffee on your shirt in the morning that you can change dress shirts and look your personal best before you have the face to face in person business meeting with an executive or a date later today.

Smile warmly and chat easily with others
People want to be with people of high status because by association it reflects well on them and their status.

In addition, we all feel more comfortable with other people who put us at socially at ease. Whether it is in a business setting or personal social setting, we all feel more comfortable approaching people who both look good and who look like they are open to our approach to them.

How can you help others to feel that level of personal and professional comfort with you? Your open body language and your warm smile encourages them that you are a warm and accepting person. That puts them at ease that you will behave like that with them, too.

Lastly, display your warm, poised, and approachable social skills with others by chatting easily with other people. When others see you warm, graciously, and comfortably chatting with other people, our brains immediately picture that you will extend that accepting gracious behavior to us as well and not reject us.

By practicing your excellent personal grooming, personal polish, and social conversational poise, you establish the best circumstance to put others at ease and to make yourself more approachable to them.

Online Dating Expert and Professional Internet Dating Profile Writer helps empower single men and women to find lasting love. Combining her fun humor with a compassionate approach, Online Dating Coach and Dating Expert, April Braswell leads singles classes and workshop in the LA area of Southern California.

Enjoy tons of free dating advice and tips articles plus services and products to help boomer singles looking to find love this year at her website and top Best Dating Blogs.

To grab your FREE copy of 10 Secrets to Get a Boyfriend or Girlfriend Fast go to now: www.AprilBraswell.com
Copyright April Braswell. All Rights Reserved.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=April_Braswell